God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
