the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
