dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
