Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
