I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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