i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
