Will you blow on my dice?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
