how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
