i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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