you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
