I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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