So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
