So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
did you just send me my own nude
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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