Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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