I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
