I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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