With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
