I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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