a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
