Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
