Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
