So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
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