She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
