i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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