I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
