well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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