It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
sarcasm needs its own font
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
