rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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