He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
