Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize