he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
