ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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