how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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