Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
