he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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