Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight

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(714): View more from California

I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.

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(516): View more from New York

i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".

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(318): View more from Louisiana

He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."

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(248): View more from Michigan

we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

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(330): View more from Ohio

ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.

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