the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
