I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
