Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
