Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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