i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
