Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
