You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
