You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
