Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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