now i know why i became what i already was.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
