1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
