What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Still dying that you shit outside
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
