if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
