the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
