If i come over, it means nothing
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
